Letting Go

I have always prided myself on being Miss Independent; largely due to my upbringing. When you live in a house which consisted majorly of women you quickly learn there really isn’t anything like boy’s tasks or girl’s tasks. Topping up the generator with petrol, washing the car and cooking Sunday breakfast we did it all. Yes, everything was game for everyone. I guess the person who benefited the most was my brother, he somehow turned into the dream husband for most women, he cooks, he cleans and is very well organized. Yes, as you can expect there are ladies lined up for two blocks trying to get his attention.

However, what are you to do when you suddenly realize that you might have to let go of some of that independence. How do you unlearn all the things you have held true for so many years? My first real encounter was when I found myself in a committed relationship, girls you know the one I am talking about, the type of relationship that makes you think are there really still men like this out there.

Yes, I found myself in that type of relationship and I found myself struggling with the concept of letting someone else take care of me. All I kept thinking was I can do that for myself I really don’t need you to do this or that or that. Needless to say, that caused a lot of friction but I survived and somehow managed to reprogram myself to let somebody else in.

Reflecting on the whole situation, I realize that my problem wasn’t necessarily the loss of my independence, having someone else share my responsibilities isn’t so bad. In fact, it is way better than having to do it all alone. I realize the problem was actually letting somebody else in. Being independent means that you have built a wall around yourself and having built this wall you know everything about the wall. You know its strong point, its weak points and the don’t even think about going there points. All of this means that the chances of this wall failing you are very minimal and there is a lot of comfort in knowing that.

To give this up means you introduce another wall that you need to depend on. This is risky business, you don’t really know anything about this wall and even when you claim to do this wall isn’t yours so it can fail you at any time. So we are all cautious and rather depend on our own wall. It is better to be safe than sorry.

But what happens when there is a sudden change that requires you to depend on another person's wall whether you like it or not. How do we deal with that? Right now all I can come up with is patience and prayer. Think about it now you have to depend on somebody else to get things done, you have to wait for them to do it in their own time, at their own convenience and the best part you cannot rush them. Isn’t that just a recipe for disaster? Maybe we should add fasting to my list: Prayer, fasting and Patience.

While I do not have a solution for the frustrations that you will face (I recommend a glass of wine) I do know that letting go might not be the worst thing in the world. Here is something to think about, unless we are ready to experience the unknown, how do we discover new and possibly better things? Think about it and good luck in letting go.