Judge and Jury

This week I gave some pretty shocking advice by my standards to a friend. I think the reason I found it so shocking was that I presumed I was a lot more free spirited than this. But here I was with a very serious face, letting my friend know that I was not as free spirited as I thought.

What was the advice, to put it quite simply I told her “I know we all do not want to judge people, but sometimes you have to judge people”. Now before you all start judging me, let me explain myself. My friend had somehow found herself in a situation that to be honest if she had passed judgement earlier it would not have gotten that bad.

Still confused? Do we all remember the movie, Bad Neighbours? It is about a couple who live next door to a bunch of frat students. Let’s take a page out of the script and imagine a situation where you and your significant other are looking for a place to live, the two of you are working full-time jobs and have a little bundle of joy.

You guys are the picture-perfect family. You find the perfect house, but here is the catch you will be living next to five students. What would you do?

Would you A – Walk away immediately, these are students we are talking about. There would most likely be loud music coming from next door, a lot of people coming and going, some extensive co-curricular activities taking place, the presence of extra housemates not necessarily of the human gene (I hear birds are the new must have pets) and a mess that would make changing your baby’s diapers look like a walk in the park. 

Or would you B – Give them the benefit of the doubt, after all everybody deserves a chance. They could turn out to be the studious type, considerate to everyone around them, willing to help you out with your house chores, washing the car, mowing the lawn all those would-be things of the past. They could even help with the baby. What is better than having a babysitter next door.

I do not know about you, but I know which option I would pick. I would need extra legs to get me away from that house as fast as I would like, there can be other perfect houses and if I cannot find another perfect house, I will take the next best thing. As much as I do not want to place judgement on people when I do not know them, for this scenario I would have to be that cruel.

There was a point I thought the world was black and white. What was wrong, was wrong and what was right was well right. But now I know that the world is one giant grey ball. It is getting harder and harder to distinguish what is right and wrong. There are some many angles to observe a topic that sometimes it is impossible to pick which one is truly the right choice.

Looking at the example I described earlier if I was a fresh face graduate, in my first job. I would not mind living next to students. I might even inquire if there was space in the house. I would be guaranteed a jolly good time with them. I guess the difference is where I am at in my life. There is a time for everything. There is a time to be free spirited and there is a time to be the judge and jury.

So maybe it is time to hang up my free spirit boots and put on my wig and cap because placing preconceived judgements sometimes saves you a whole lot of drama.