Ignorance is Bliss

Last week was date night with hubby and although I really just wanted to sit at home in my boo boo and binge watch something on Netflix, I forced myself and hubby to go out. We have spent way too many weekends just watching Netflix and Chilling. I am starting to wonder what happened to the couple who had a social calendar that was the envy of so many.

We decided to go out and have dinner, I picked a restaurant that would appeal to both parties. For me the opportunity to try something new and different and for hubby the presence of meat. As long as the restaurant offers a wide selection of different types of meat, he is good.

As we approached the restaurant I saw a kid through the window, his face was covered with sauce, he was chewing and smiling at the same time and I knew I had picked a good place. The smell that welcomed us as we stepped in affirmed the fact that this was going to be an enjoyable experience. In that moment, I knew I made the right choice by shunning Netflix.

We took our seats and we were presented with 3 menus, each one with significant bulk which only meant the selections were going to be substantial. I approached the task at hand (ordering) with the same tactic, drinks first, then appetizers, the main next and if there was still space desert. However, there was something different, yes the menus looked brand new and shiny but right next to each selection my arch nemesis was smiling right back at me.

A few months back the government of Canada, signed into legislation that all food establishments must now display the calorie content of all their selections.  The goal behind this was to empower people with the knowledge to make smarter food decisions. This seemed like a brilliant idea until you realize just how many calories are in your favorite appetizer.

You are less likely to want to order a strawberry daiquiri if you knew that in that small glass you were consuming 300+ calories. That is 15% of my daily recommended calories intake and I haven’t even ordered my food yet. Bearing in mind this is dinner so I have already given more than half of my 2000 calories to breakfast and lunch.

The appetizers were no better, who wants to order nachos or BBQ chicken wings when you are looking at 700 calories? Don’t even get me started on the main, some had 2000+ calories in them and of course those were the good ones. The only thing that was respectable was the salads, but who goes to a restaurant to have a salad. I can make one myself thank you very much. And if I am feeling extra lazy I can buy a ready made one. It is still way cheaper

Needless to say, my date night was semi-ruined, I simply could not in all good conscience order what I really wanted and decided to order something somewhere in the middle. This clearly took me past my daily recommended limit so I consoled myself by refusing to finish my meal, I decided I would feel better if a split my calories over a 3-day period.

Am I happy about what the government did, well yes and no? I must admit the knowing the calorie content empowered me to make smarter choices which I know will be beneficial towards me in the future. But then again, this was my first date night in a while and I would have loved to eat and drink without thinking about tomorrow. I guess what they say is true Ignorance is truly bliss.  

Out with the old, in with the new

As Easter approaches I am reminded of a lot of things, one obviously being the meaning of the season. I have always felt Easter was never really given the big hora, it deserves it has always played second fiddle to Christmas. In my opinion, it shouldn’t. If we all reflect on the meaning of both seasons many of us might see that Easter holds a bigger promise. However, Christmas does have the advantage of being at the end of the year, everyone is pretty much done with that year and looking forward to something new, so I can see why it holds a bigger appeal.

One of the biggest appeals of both seasons has always been traditions. Each year the family gets together and we do pretty much the same thing. Year in, year out. Some traditions I loved, like the promise of 2 eggs and sausages to go with my yam on Christmas morning. Other traditions I didn’t like so much. For example, being forced to socialize with people I saw 4 times in a year. Honestly what exactly was I going to talk to this person about? After the usual pleasantries, each child would retreat to a corner of the room allocated to us and count the seconds until you heard your parents say the magical words “It is time to go home”. 

Loved them or hate them, they were a part of my life and I admit I missed each one when it was no more. Of all the traditions, the biggest one in my life was the presence of family at every occasion. 

No matter what we were celebrating I could count on my family being present, it is safe to say we all have a significant impact on each other's lives. These were happy days for me and I do not think I ever considered what would happen when these days would join the ranks of old traditions.

The day arrived sooner than I was prepared, the first change my primary nuclear family was no longer mummy, daddy and siblings but me, hubby and our future blessings. Imagine trying to explain to your significant other why you want to spend Christmas with your siblings rather than him. Yeah, you all see it, ko le work (It will not work).

The second big change, my number one priority changed. Imagine explaining why you needed to contribute to the purchase of an item for your sibling let’s say in this case a wedding band. When you have not focused on your own necessities as a family. Let’s say a down payment on a house. Again ko le work.

Yes, just like that, a precious tradition became an old tradition. I will be honest and let you all know I struggled, my first Christmas with my new nuclear family was hard and I thank God every day that my younger sister came to visit, without her I might have just been a blubbering mess. I missed it all, the mad dash to the supermarkets to buy everything we did and did not need. The fight to have turkey or not to have turkey, morning mass, opening presents and the drinks. Even my sister who is the biggest miss independent in the world felt the void.

Thankfully there is a massive light at the end of the tunnel, you see without letting go of the old how do we make space for the new. We can try and cramp in as many things in the same space but truth be told when there are so many things clustered in one place how do we truly know and value what we have.

The new is sometimes so much better than the old, but we can never really know this unless we are willing to try. For instance, I discovered there are tons of people just like me not having their extended family who once played a big role in their lives during the holidays. So to fill the void they hold parties. This meant a Christmas without cooking!!!! How many people can boast of that? I end this by asking you to imagine your hands being held out with your fists closed. How can you receive anything that way? Now imagine you with your fists open, isn’t that better you can receive freely from everyone.  

Judge and Jury

This week I gave some pretty shocking advice by my standards to a friend. I think the reason I found it so shocking was that I presumed I was a lot more free spirited than this. But here I was with a very serious face, letting my friend know that I was not as free spirited as I thought.

What was the advice, to put it quite simply I told her “I know we all do not want to judge people, but sometimes you have to judge people”. Now before you all start judging me, let me explain myself. My friend had somehow found herself in a situation that to be honest if she had passed judgement earlier it would not have gotten that bad.

Still confused? Do we all remember the movie, Bad Neighbours? It is about a couple who live next door to a bunch of frat students. Let’s take a page out of the script and imagine a situation where you and your significant other are looking for a place to live, the two of you are working full-time jobs and have a little bundle of joy.

You guys are the picture-perfect family. You find the perfect house, but here is the catch you will be living next to five students. What would you do?

Would you A – Walk away immediately, these are students we are talking about. There would most likely be loud music coming from next door, a lot of people coming and going, some extensive co-curricular activities taking place, the presence of extra housemates not necessarily of the human gene (I hear birds are the new must have pets) and a mess that would make changing your baby’s diapers look like a walk in the park. 

Or would you B – Give them the benefit of the doubt, after all everybody deserves a chance. They could turn out to be the studious type, considerate to everyone around them, willing to help you out with your house chores, washing the car, mowing the lawn all those would-be things of the past. They could even help with the baby. What is better than having a babysitter next door.

I do not know about you, but I know which option I would pick. I would need extra legs to get me away from that house as fast as I would like, there can be other perfect houses and if I cannot find another perfect house, I will take the next best thing. As much as I do not want to place judgement on people when I do not know them, for this scenario I would have to be that cruel.

There was a point I thought the world was black and white. What was wrong, was wrong and what was right was well right. But now I know that the world is one giant grey ball. It is getting harder and harder to distinguish what is right and wrong. There are some many angles to observe a topic that sometimes it is impossible to pick which one is truly the right choice.

Looking at the example I described earlier if I was a fresh face graduate, in my first job. I would not mind living next to students. I might even inquire if there was space in the house. I would be guaranteed a jolly good time with them. I guess the difference is where I am at in my life. There is a time for everything. There is a time to be free spirited and there is a time to be the judge and jury.

So maybe it is time to hang up my free spirit boots and put on my wig and cap because placing preconceived judgements sometimes saves you a whole lot of drama.