Growing up in Nigeria my perception of what I wanted to be when I grew
up changed all the time. How I ended up doing what I do is a story I am fed up
of telling.
It started out with me wanting to
be a lawyer, shout out to Ally Macbeal for inspiring me and shout out to social
studies for killing that dream.
If social studies could barely hold my attention, how would all the
lawyer type subjects. Then there was my engineering phase, now I
am starting to think I wanted to be an engineer because well there was lack of
creativity in possible occupations in Nigerian secondary schools. It was rare
if non-existent to hear someone say I would like to be an insurance broker.
Everyone was either a lawyer, doctor or an engineer or
when rogue and said Business Man or Woman.
Somewhere along the line when my interests started to set in, I decided
my dream career was to be a movie critic. I was and still am to a large extent
a movie junkie. I thoroughly enjoy a good movie and in my hay day would have
seen 8 of the top 10 movies in the country. Now not so much… Back then I loved all movies and I did not
show prejudice to origins, Hollywood, Bollywood, Gollywood and Nollywood where all game.
But despite my
best attempts not to show prejudice it didn’t last
long, you see the Nollywood movies would just not end. Now I am not attacking
the storylines, some were actually good but why do I need to watch part 1 – 4
just to get the entire story. Like come on why so
long. But it
wasn’t just that it didn't end, it got worse. Some movies are justified to have to be that long (SOME!!!!) but why must
20 minutes of the start of part two be the last 20 minutes of part one,
why must
20
minutes of the start of part three be the last 20 minutes of part 2 and so on. Come on!!!
It gets worse, why must the first 15 minutes of each part be adverts of other movies and why must the man speaking
in the adverts be screaming. I can hear just fine I don’t need you to scream.
And why do I need to watch 15
minutes of a club scene or swimming pool scene 20 seconds of that and I get the
picture, I do not need anything longer.
With all this and so much more, you can understand why I finally gave up
on Nollywood it was simply breaking my heart. That was until someone tempted
me. So I went to get my hair done, braids and
you all know how long
it takes to get it done (well at least the women
do). My hair stylist was prepared, she had picked a movie (Nollywood of course) to entertain us. The next 6 hours went in
a blur between the movie and gossiping talking I did not notice much
time I gone by.
As I decided seen as I really enjoyed my Nollywood experience I should
give it a try again. I am going to start
with the good points, it was a good story line very entertaining, there was no
more the end of one part is the first 20 minutes of the other
and general all round production had improved.
Now to the bad, first it is no longer called part 1, part 2 etc. but
season 1, season 2 etc. (how does this make sense). Second an additional season
has been added so it went up to 5, third must the bad
guy always die at the end, how about a shock ending and the bad person escapes and lives a
fulfilled life, fourth I really do not need to see 20 minutes of dancing,
fifth I think I should just stop here I will just go on and on..
My final verdict, Nollywood movies although very entertaining are just
too damn long, it took an entire braiding session to complete one movie. That is 6 hours!!! 6
hours to watch one movie na series!!!

Hahahah. That's why I never watch Nollywood movies.
ReplyDeleteI know but they can be interesting sometimes, most especially the Yoruba ones.. :D
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