The art of patience

Growing up in Nigeria the one thing that I learnt from an early age was “Aggression”. It is a dog eat dog world out there and every Nigerian is determined not to carry last in everything. Your training in the science of aggression begins at primary school where if Tunde took your biscuits you were expected to outsmart Tunde and get it back.

Surviving primary school meant you were ready for phase two of your training, how to avoid being bullied at junior secondary school and how to become the bully at senior secondary. And then you enter the final phase how to navigate the murky waters of university where the ability to be aggressive or in Nigerian terms “Be Sharp” is a baseline requirement.

But what happens when we enter the real world and aggression really isn’t needed. Have we ever thought what it would be like if rather than rushing for that bus we just queued up and got in one after the other or if we just allowed a car to change lanes without thinking he/ she thinks we are mugu’s. For one I know I would not have to paint the bumper of my car every 6 months and I would not mind taking the bus, I really just cannot handle people rushing like that is the last seat in the world.

I guess all of this comes with the Nigerian hustle spirit, but have we considered the cost of this hustle spirit. When a way of life is instilled in you from a very young age how can you learn to switch it off when the situation requires it. I will give you an example, Mama Segun and Mama Bola share a car. Mama Segun uses it in the morning, Mama Bola in the afternoon. One day Mama Segun takes the car all day long and comes back in the night, Mama Bola is livid; her “Be Sharp” senses have been activated cue the aggression.

Now I know what most people would say “Yes now, why did she do that” but have we ever 

considered what exactly could have happened. There are a billion possibilities but if we have our “Be Sharp” senses activated how can we listen and most importantly understand. We should all listen to understand and not to reply.

A very wise man once told me “It only takes seconds” this was when he was teaching me to navigate the unique roads in Lagos. I really think this is why my road incidents where limited to bumper scratches and dents (Is it odd that all my dent incidents where from public transportation vehicles, one from a taxi, another danfoe and there was the keke nepe incident).  

I really think as Nigerians we should practice that, rather than trying to constantly outsmart the next person and be sharp, why don’t we all accommodate one another and exercise a little patience. One thing is for sure panel beaters would have more free time on their hands.